Company Days Out - Pub Tour 2004
For some reason, Ian and Conrad felt it would be a good idea to have another go at getting round all our eleven pubs in one day, despite the debacle last year (see archive). The major difference this year would be that instead of all going en masse in one bus, we would split into individual teams.
So it was that on the evening of Monday May 3rd, sixteen rag tag and bobtail waifs and strays with nothing better to do met for a pre-tour supper at the Hare.
The line-up was to have included three Westfields, a classic Lotus Elan, a soft-top Audi, a BMW, a motorbike and a full-blown rally car, but one of the Westfields had broken down and couldn't be fixed in time (though Dave and Dave gamely toured anyway), and another crashed the morning before setting off for the Hare, leaving Conrad as the sole Westie entrant - and even he had blown his engine ten days before and had to install a new unit. Jim, of the wiped-out Westie, nobly offered to drive a support car for Conrad (these cars are fragile beasts). The rally car sadly also broke in testing.
So we agreed to meet at 10.00 the next morning, but predictably half of the teams had stayed up till 4.30am in their hotel having a nightcap, and only three teams made it to the start line on time. At this rate, no-one was going to make it to the end…
It was raining. Not just raining, it was bucketing, and Conrad's Westie, which has no weather protection whatsoever, was two inches deep in water on the floor, much to everyone's delight (though C. was still asleep when we left).
The first three teams arrived at the Black Jug at the same time, despite some tricksy back-lane routing by the Audi, and after a coffee and a swift sharpener, continued on, still not having heard from any of the others.
This is the Westfield photographed from the support car driven by Jim. All that power through the back wheels in an ultra-light car on wet roads = Nearer My God to Thee. Come to think of it, this looks suspiciously like the driver took the photo from behind the wheel, but it's not true officer, honest.
Team W-C (Westfield-Conrad) arrive at the Black Jug.
Conrad's co-driver Julie, wet and cold and shivering, soon realises that Jim is in fact wearing a Hawaiian shirt, shades, and is looking toasty warm, so without a backward glance, she jumps the wet ship Westfield and joins him in the support car. Nice pull, Jim.
Dan & Paul's team in the BMW had a nasty aquaplane on the motorway which saw them heading towards the barrier at a 45° angle at 75mph with a lifeless steering wheel, but Paul's dad Peter, who drove throughout, kept his nerve and got it back - though they all went a bit quiet for a while in the back.
They got stuck in a jam for a hour, as did the Audi, but Duncan and Blair were prepared - so out came the smoked duck, whiskey-marinated beef and black olives, and a nifty little half of chilled Chablis to settle the nerves.
Wonder how Conrad's doing?
Just for the record, here's a photograph of Duncan with a half of lager... Girl.
Ian and Shane (shown at the back on the left), playing tortoise to the other's hares, were cruising in the classic Lotus, and took the trouble-free pay-toll route. Remarkably, all three teams arrived at the Armoury within a minute of each other, four and a half hours into the event. So we had another sharpener. Only eight more pubs to go…
From here on, people head for the hills with their closely-guarded routes - but the Audi pulled a fast one and squeezed in a glass of wine at the Combermere Arms building site, thereby being able to claim at the end of the night that none of the other teams fully completed the course…..low-down trickery of the finest order.
Sunshine coming off the Snowdonian hills, only two more pubs to go
So everyone did their own thing getting round, but a number of the teams met up at the Pen y Bryn, as the second to last pub - with great joyous shaking of hands etc, as until then we didn't actually know whether some teams had even started - and we still hadn't heard from Bill on his motorbike.
Ian in the morning Ian in the evening
Back at Glasfryn, the destination pub, each team had a really warm welcome from the locals as they came in. Ian and his son Shane were looking completely blasted after a fraught day in the Lotus, which had finally expired two pubs from home.
Conrad, after over twelve hours in The Beast in howling gales, arrived looking like the beast from The Beast, and Bill, who had also gone round alone on his bike, arrived at three minutes to eleven looking... suspiciously well groomed.
Bill's bike had expired near to the Black Jug, the second pub, and had to be AA Relay'd back to his house near Chester, where he picked up a second bike and continued the tour. A good way round the Northern pubs he was too cold and wet to continue, so went home again, had a shower and a cup of tea, and climbed into his car to complete the tour… so qualifying as 'The Person to Use the Most Vehicles' on the tour (four).
Dave and Dave, from one of the stricken Westfields, achieved 'The Shortest Route', Duncan and Blair 'Visited The Most Pubs', Conrad had 'The Hardest Drive', and Ian and Shane did it in 'The Best Style' in the Lotus. Jim got "Good Shepherd" for crewing the back-up car for Conrad, having trashed his own Westfield.
'The First Crew Back' were Peter, Paul and Dan in the BMW, so they duly cracked the bubbly.
Alternatively, Bill got 'The Most Incompetent' award for needing the most number of vehicles, Conrad was 'The Wettest', Ian visited 'The Least Number of Pubs', Paul and Dan had 'The Softest Option' (having been driven all the way round by his dad, for goodness' sake), the two Dave's had 'The Least Hair' between them, Jim got the award for 'The Best Pull', and Duncan and Blair got the award for 'The Filthiest Cheats' by dint of their Combermere number. Oh, and Blair got a special award for 'Queen of the Desert'….
Blair, QOD
Next morning, a motley collection of very sorry crew assembled for coffees and cokes, vowing never, ever, ever….
Apologies to the two Daves, Bill and Shane for failing to get usable photographs of them….next year?